Placements are through, Argh!

Finally got my placement areas through for this year!! I found out Im going to A&E for my first branch placement, then community placement, surgical day unit, then community again. Absolutely bricking it already about A&E, especially with it being a first branch placement and Im not even going until November! Loads of things were running through my head when I found out. what will they think of me? how much will they expect me to know? what if Im stood there clueless with everyone running rings round me? what if I make a mistake after mistake and they dont sign me off? Im seriously scared. My friends think Im lucky to be going, and if it were a second placement on branch maybe I wouldnt feel as nervous. Then again maybe Id always feel nervous going into a critical care setting as a student for the first time. I hope I handle the baptism of fire well and surprise myself, because I feel sick everytime I think about it. Ordered myself a BNF past edition today to keep for reference, its been long overdue to be ordered and seeing where I was going gave me the push I needed to crack on. Ive been using my phone app nurses drug handbook, the internet and google search for my research so far.  Now I think the times come to be able to have something to hand that I can also take to placement in my bag and if I hear a certain name I havent heard being bandied around I can scribble it down and look it up on my break. This nurse training is a scarey lark. Sometimes Im fine and I think, yeah this is me, I can do this. Times like today and it can only take finding out where my next placement is and I freak out. I get into a negative frame of mind and feel overwhelmed by it all. I start to lose faith in myself and my abilities a bit, thinking I dont think I can get through the rest of the course, or that I will qualify and be one of those clueless nurses that claw their way through their job on a daily basis. I dont want to be that nurse, its not the nurse I envisioned myself as when I applied for the course. I really hope Im cut out for this. Sorry for being maudlin, hopefully my pessimistic frame of mind will be replaced by cheery optimism and positive thinking next time I blog. Enjoy the weekend peeps! xxx